08 November, 2011

Love in the Air

I had slipped on my new blue vintage dress, and pulled on my boots before I left for the market. It is such a nice day. No clouds, very sunny, and warm. The perfect day to spend it outside. And that’s what I planned to do.

The market isn’t very far from my apartment, and I have to pass hundreds of little shops. I walked by a small coffee shop on the way. It was the cutest thing. Outside has a couple wrought iron tables and chairs. The air smelled delicious. It kind of reminded me of something you’d see in a French romance movie.

I walked inside, and it was so inviting. There were plants everywhere; on the tables, window sills, and counters. The walls are a very calming chocolate color. All kinds of pastries filled the display cases.

I was too busy looking around and admiring everything, that I didn’t notice the guy in front of my. We bumped into each other, and his drink was knocked out of his hand.

“Oh my God. I’m so, so sorry.” I said, bending down to pick up the cup. He bent down, too and grabbed the cup before I could.

“No, no. It’s okay, really.” He stood up, and offered his hand to help me up. I looked up at him and smiled.

This guy was way taller than me. He had blonde hair and the clearest blue eyes. He was wearing a plaid shirt and blue jeans, and it made him look really good. Everything about this guy was very attractive.

I blushed when I realized that we were staring at each other.

“I’m still really sorry. Please let me buy you another coffee?”

“It’s actually chai tea. I can’t stand the taste of coffee.”

“Oh, I love chai tea!”

“Well then, let me buy us some, and maybe we can talk? I mean, you do owe me since you knocked my cup out of my hand.” He smiled at me, and I couldn’t refuse an offer like that.”

“Yeah, sure. My name’s Tilly by the way.”

“Nice to bump into you. I’m Foster.” We smiled to ourselves, and made our way to the front of the line. “So, what kind of chai would you like?”

“I usually get vanilla spiced.”

“Perfect. That’s my favorite kind.” He smiled and took a hold of my arm, after we had our tea. “Shall we find a place to sit?”

We found a table outside in the sun, and he sat down across from me. He is such a handsome guy. There’s nothing wrong with him as far as I can tell.

“So, do you live around here?” Foster asked.

“Yeah, actually not too far. I just moved into the apartment a few months ago.”

“Where did you live before?”

“Some small town in New Jersey. Nothing special.”

“Well, Tilly from some small town in New Jersey, I could give you a taste of this big city, Oregon. If you’d like?” His eyes lit up, and I nearly melted.

“Of course. I would love that very much.” I tried to catch myself before I started staring at him again, but I was too late. He caught onto what I was trying to do, and grinned even wider.

“You know, Tilly, you’re a very interesting person. I would like to get to know you more.” He blushed slightly at his bluntness, and so did I.

“I’d like that. You’re not boring, and very cute.”

“Do you want to go see a show tonight? Around say, seven o’clock? Don’t worry about dinner either. I’ve got that covered, too.”

“What kind of show?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be a surprise.”

“Sure.” I smiled at him, and wrote my number on a napkin. “Want to meet up here?”

“Sounds like a plan.” I stood up from my seat, and grabbed my purse.

“I’ll meet you here at six-thirty. Don’t be late.” He hugged me, and his scent stayed with me the rest of the night.

The Rainy West

I woke up to the rain pattering against my bedroom window. It was going on ten in the morning, but the room was a gloomy grey. My little border collie mutt was all spread out on the other side of the bed, enjoying the extra sleeping time.

“Come on, Tansy. Let’s get you something to eat, and outside for a walk. Though I think we need the rain boots again.” Tansy looked up at me, and crawled her way to my side, so she could lick my hands and face. “Okay, girl. That’s enough.”

I went to the kitchen and put the tea on before I fixed Tansy her breakfast. She was the best dog I ever had. I found her on the streets a couple of weeks after I moved to Portland. Poor little thing was as lost as I was. I don’t know what I would have done without her through the hardships here.

I was working two jobs, missing life back home, and hating everything. But, when I came home, and saw how happy she was to see me, I knew things would be okay.

Tansy barked at the person who knocked at the door, and I jumped out of my daydreams.

“Shh. Tansy, be quiet. Let’s see who’s at the door.” It was Mrs. Beasly from across the hall.

Mrs. Beasly was the kindest and gentlest old lady. Her and her husband have been living in these apartments since they were nineteen. They mostly keep to their own business, but Mrs. Beasly and I always find time to have tea and talk. Though it was usually later in the afternoons.

“Good morning, Mrs. Beasly. Do you want to come in and have some tea? It should be about ready.”

“Oh sure, deary. I was just coming over to give you some biscotti’s I baked last night. But, I guess it’s always pleasant to have some company with your morning tea.” She smiled and handed me a plate full of biscotti’s.

No one could ever beat Mrs. Beasly’s Italian cooking. She made home cooked meals four times a day. Every day. And she always brought me the leftovers.

She sat down at the tiny table beside the window. I brought over the tea, milk, and sugar and sat down opposite of her.

The window is fairly large, and it’s definitely the main source of natural lighting in the small apartment. On the window sill, there are pots filled with herbs and manageable veggies. It’s the perfect place to sit at night with a cup of hot chocolate and overlook the city.

“Tilly, I love coming over here and having talks with you. Your home is so bright and clean. The yellow walls in here just make me the cheeriest person all day. I’d say you’re quiet the homemaker.” She smiled, and brought the tea cup to her lips. Mrs. Beasly was the ideal old lady in my mind. Her grey, almost white, hair was always up in a tight bun. Every day she wore her dresses, and her make up was perfect. I would love to have her as a grandmother.

“Thank you, Mrs. Beasly. But, I’d be a better homemaker if I only knew how to really cook.”

“Hunny, please call me Edith. You make me feel so old when you call me Missus. And you’re so young! You have all the time in the world to perfect your cooking skills. I’ll even come over in the noons you don’t waitress and teach you.”

“That would be wonderful. Bringing home and eating leftovers from the restaurant isn’t always appetizing.” Mrs. Beasly nodded in argeement, and glanced outside as a bird fluttered out of view.

“I know it’s so rude to ask of others’ business, but I’ve been very curious. What made you come to the west coast? You’re so far from your home.”

“Oh, well, that’s such a long story. Really, I guess I needed something new. I felt like I would be stuck in my small town forever, and I wanted to explore.” I took a small sip from my cup, and set it down slowly. “My life wasn’t going in a good direction either. It was better for me to leave.” I added softly.

Mrs. Beasly looked at me for awhile, and nodded her head. “Well, I’m glad to have such a strong, beautiful woman living next door to me. Sometimes I wish I could’ve been as adventurous as you, Tilly. But, I must be off. Mr. Beasly will be wondering where I wondered off to now.”

She hobbled her way to the door, and I followed closely behind, thinking of her words. At the door, she hesitated a few moments, and turned to me.

“Tilly, you are a very strong and lucky lady. I know good things will head your way. God has some great things in store for you. I’ll be sure to pray that the bad stays away from you and your home.” She gave me a small hug, and scurried to her apartment. I closed my door as she entered hers. I stood facing the door for a couple more moments to think over everything that she said.

I really do hope she’s right. I thought. I can use some good right now.

31 October, 2011

Our Son, the Geek

               “Come on, Roland. Let’s go to the toy store.” Brandon and I decided to take our little four year old shopping. Initially, we had planned on clothes shopping, but I was too curious to see the toys he liked.
               I watched him as his face filled with wonder at all the toys. He ran over to the Ugly Dolls, and picked up a few. Roland was so easily amused by everything, which to me was a good thing.
                His father and I had hoped that he would love dinosaurs and all kinds of geeky things. We always tried to introduce him to our favorite toys.
                “Hey Roland, come look at the dinosaurs.” Brandon held onto his hand, and led him to the dinosaur figurines. He picked up a Stegosaurus and handed it to Roland. He paused and looked it over in his tiny hands.
                I never realized how much Roland resembled Brandon. He had Brandon’s pale skin and extremely blonde hair. Even his personality matched Brandon’s. The only physical thing he got from me was his small figure and brown eyes. But, he did have my curiosity of the world, and artistic skill.
                He put the dinosaur back down, and seemed to lose interest in it all. I frowned and looked up at Brandon. He didn’t seem to notice Roland’s sudden disinterest.
                “Come on, hunny. We need to get you a new winter coat.” I said sadly. Roland reached up for my hand, and held it in his small grasp. We led him out of the store, and toward the next one.
                “Mummy, are there more dinosaurs?” Roland asked me. I smiled to myself, and my heart filled with joy. Our little boy did like dinosaurs.
                “Of course, baby. There are pterodactyls and they can fly.” Roland grinned and squeezed my hand tight. I looked up at Brandon and saw him smiling, too.
                Our baby boy was going to be a geek after all.

30 October, 2011

Winter

Again it’s that time of year

When all the kids come to hear

Of the good heroes that overcome the bad.

And I sit here all glum and sad.

It wasn’t supposed to be the same,

But who’s here to blame?

The dark prevails the good,

To become oblivious I throw up my hood.

Who can I say is right?

Is it even worth the fight?

09 September, 2011

Decomposed Lovers

The newest zombies to the collection :)

Someday

To Brandon<3

I woke up with sunshine pouring in from the skylight above our bed. Brandon was cuddled up beside me with his head laying on my shoulder. As carefully as I could, I tried to get out of bed without waking him up.
The television was on in the living room, and Roland was curled up on the couch. He was wearing his Dr. Who pj's and cuddling his Ugly Doll.
"Good morning, baby. Why are you up so early?" I asked.
"Mummy, I want to watch Pokemon." He jumped up off of the couch, and grabbed the DVD to bring it to me.
Roland was three and a half, and the cutest little boy ever. He has real blonde hair, and blue eyes like his dad. He is almost an exact replica of Brandon. The only thing Roland took from me was his love of zombie movies and his art skills. Well, even most of that came from Brandon.
I put the DVD in, and turned down the volume, only to get a scowl from him.
"We need to be quiet, hun. Daddy and Lennox are still sleeping. Don't wake them up because they'll be cranky all day." Roland put his pointer finger to his lips, and started giggling. He crawled onto the couch, and became absorbed into the TV as the theme song started playing.
I walked into the kitchen, and pulled out the waffle iron. My favorite part about Saturday mornings are having the time to make waffles for everyone. Roland loves chocolate chips in his waffles. (Thankfully, another thing he took after his mummy.) Since Brandon isn't much of a fan of chocolate, I have to make a separate batch for him.
While the waffles were in the iron, I had to take out everyone's special glasses and plates. Brandon and Roland use their Transformers plates, Lennox has her little monster bowl, and I use one of the many geeky plates we have. All of our spoons, forks, and knives are Star Wars related, so there isn't any arguing.
Brandon came into the kitchen holding Lennox in his arms. Both of their hair was sticking up in random places. He set her down in the high chair, and have her a bottle of milk.
Lennox was fourteen months old. Like Roland, she had extremely blonde hair, but had light brown eyes. Her eyes were like mine, since they changed colors with her mood. She was always trying to copy me. If I was trying to paint or clean or anything, she was right behind me. Lennox never failed to entertain us.
"Good morning, Fox." Brandon wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed me.
"Morning silly bear. How was your sleep?"
"It was good. Until Nadia got into bed and started snoring." I put the last of the waffles on the table, and Brandon took out the syrup and juice. "How was yours?"
"Pretty good, actually. Lennox only woke up once."
"I didn't hear her cry?" Brandon said, and looked at me with a questioning look.
"That's 'cause you were too busy snoring, silly bear. It's okay though. She was just hungry." I gave Lennox her bowl of cereal, and sat down beside her chair. "Roland! Food's ready!"
Brandon poured Roland a glass of chocolate milk, and helped him into his booster seat.

Nightmares

"Tunny, please stop pulling on Mummy's dress." Tunny, my three year old daughter, was insistent on pulling me around the park with her. Her six year old brother, Zane, was playing on the swings by himself.
"Mummy, I want ice cream."
"Why don't you play on the swings with Zane first. Then, we'll go get ice cream." The biggest smile spread across her face and her light blue eyes lit up. I watched her small figure race toward her brother with her blonde hair flowing behind.
Tunny is such an energetic little girl. She's always trying to keep up with Zane in everything that he does. He's really good with her, too. Zane has never been mean to her, and always lets her play with him.
I wobbled my pregnant self over toward the swings. Tunny was sitting in the mulch, staring up at Zane admiringly.
"Come on, Tunny. Let Mummy put you in the swing." I picked her up, and somehow managed to get her into the baby swing on the first try.
"Mummy, I wanna go high."
"Okay, baby. But, not too high, alright?"
"Tunny!" Zane called for her attention. "Watch me do this trick!" He waited until he knew he had her full attention. Zane pumped his little legs, and jumped off of the swing. Tunny squealed with excitement, and started to kick her legs.
"Mummy! Mummy! I wanna do that!"
"You're too little to do that yet." She leaned back in the seat so she could see me better.
"But, Mummy. I wanna do that." Her eyes brimmed with tears as a temper tantrum boiled inside her.
"Let's go get some ice cream instead. I'll let you pick out whatever you want."
"I want sprinkles on mine!" Zane raced over to Tunny's side once I let her down.
"That's fine. Tunny, do you know what you want?"
"I want sprinkles, too!" She grabbed onto Zane's hand, and started pulling him toward the car.
We got to the ice cream parlor, and took a seat on the benches outside.
Watching Tunny eat her ice cream is always amusing. I bought her a small vanilla cone with sprinkles, and Zane got a small chocolate with sprinkles. It starts out fine, and then someone has to wipe their ice cream on the other. Usually, it's Tunny wiping her ice cream because she loves when Zane freaks out. Zane doesn't do much about it, besides giving her a silly face. But, it makes Tunny giggle like crazy.
"Tunny, lick your ice cream before it gets all over the place." She started licking the bottom of the cone, and got ice cream all over her face. Some of it ended up onto her dress.
"Mum, can we go to the park again tomorrow?" Zane asked.
"You have school tomorrow, dear. Tunny, come here so I can wipe your face." She shook her head, and tried to hide behind one of the tables. "You're not going in the car with ice cream all over you."
"No, I don't wanna." Zane grabbed her, and she started to kick and cry.
"Zane, just leave her alone. Tunny, please behave for Mummy. Don't you wanna go home and watch Madeline?" She was still crying because Zane grabbed her, and she placed herself in between my legs.
"Mummy, I wanna go home."
"Okay, baby. Zane, can you grab my bag?" I picked Tunny up, and carried her to the car. Once she was snapped into her car seat, she passed out.
"Mum, can we go to Sunday school again?" Zane asked when I pulled out of the parking lot.
"Of course, kiddo. Did you really enjoy it today?"
"Yup. I can't wait."
"Well, good. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Grandma and Pappy are gonna be there next time." I looked up into the rear-view mirror to see them both sleeping. Tunny's face and hands were still coated in ice cream. She looked like a little angel.
Zane was facing Tunny, and he twitched in his sleep. He squinted his eyes and groaned.
Nightmares.
The only thing he got from me.

10 May, 2011

The Outlaws

“Come on, Lenny. Just light it and throw the damn thing.” I held the bottle a little tighter. One deep, calming breath, and I was able to light the rag. Seth grabbed my arm once I threw it, and we both ran out of harms way.

A few seconds later, a great roar filled my ears. I turned around to see a great fire that was now encompassing the whole trailer.

“Lenny! You’re not supposed to look at the explosion. Haven’t you learned anything from Andy Samberg? Geez.” Joey brought the car around, and we all jumped in. We sped off down the highway, trying to out-run the oncoming sounds of sirens.

Joey found a dirt road that led down to an abandoned lake and cabin. He took me down here a few times over the summer to help him fix up the place. Once Bernie found out about the cabin, he asked Joey if he could hide the stolen goods here. Bernie kept everything he’s ever stolen here. There’s robbed money stashed away somewhere in the floorboards, guns and knives, televisions, explosives in the back shed, and any thing else he put his sticky fingers on.

“Holy hell. Joey, how’d you find a place like this?” Seth asked.

“Used to bring the chicks down here.” He winked in the rear-view mirror. We all knew exactly what he meant. Joey was the total sweetheart that girls typically fell for. Only, he never cared for any of them.
The small cabin came into view, and I knew this was gonna be it for the rest of the summer. Each one of us has a price on our heads. We’ve been robbing and stealing things for the past couple years. But lately, it’s been out of hand.

Bernie, my older brother, has been causing trouble since he left our mother’s womb. He’s twenty-seven years old now, and leads our outlawed group. He’s done his best in trying to teach me the ropes, but I’m just no good. My best friend, Seth, is his star pupil. Seth’s twenty-three, just three years older than me, and he’s been with the gang for less than a year. Those two do most of the dirty work. They rob the stores and plan out all the details of each robbery. The last time I went with them we almost got caught. So now I just get to blow stuff up.

Honestly, I wish I never got into this mess. I’d much rather be out in the country somewhere living a peaceful life. Bernie’s like that, too. Only, me and Seth think he’s too tough to admit it.
Bernie and Seth went into the cabin, and Joey came over to stand beside me.

“Ready to spend the summer here?” Joey clapped me on the back. I stared up at the small, rotting cabin.
“I think I’m the one that’s excited about this. At least a little anyways.” I said, and kicked a stone that was at my feet.

“Your dream’s finally coming true.” We walked into the cabin together. It was bigger than it looked from the outside. A tiny kitchen with a wood stove was on the one side, and an old, battered couch was facing the fire place on the other. Joey used to take old furniture from the junk yards or random peoples’ houses and bring them here. Upstairs there was a loft where we kept all of the mattresses, pillows, and blankets. The only problem about this whole place was that there wasn’t any indoor plumbing. Which means I have to go outside to do business.

“Hey Lenny!” Bernie called for me. “Take those buckets on the table and fill them with the lake water.”

“Is it even safe to drink that water?”

“I’ve never been sick.” Bernie turned around to close further arguments. I sighed as I grabbed the buckets, and headed down to the lake.

The grass was as tall as my knees, but luckily there was a path that led to the water. I was afraid to step on a poisonous snake or something. I filled the buckets, and stuck them behind the rock that I was sitting on.

It was actually a really nice day out. I took off my socks and shoes, and dipped my feet into the cold water. Tiny, little fishes swam away from my feet into the grasses.

Times like this reminded me of when Bernie and I were younger. We found this small creek in the woods behind our house when we lived on the outskirts of the city.

Bernie stole these two fishing rods from one of our neighbors once, and we went down to the creek to fish. He would always get mad at me because I would never fish with him. Instead, I would climb onto a rock, fix my line, and start daydreaming about the countryside. I guess I was too concerned about daydreams. Sometimes he would get so upset with me, he’d push me off of the rock I was perched on into the water. I never quite grew out of the “phase” like my mother said I would.

The grass to the side of me rustled, and I jumped back in surprise. A white rabbit poked his head out from the grass, saw me, and then ran away. I grabbed the buckets, meaning to go inside, when I heard sirens far off. My heart started pounding in my chest. I dropped the buckets, and ran as fast as I could to the cabin.

“Jesus Christ, Lenny,” Joey grabbed a hold of me when I burst through the door. “What’s wrong with you? You damn near ran me over.”

“Guys - Guys, I heard sirens. They’re still pretty far off. Do you think they know where we are?”

“Shut up, kid.” Bernie told me before I could say any more. He took the cigarette from his mouth, and put it out on the table.

No one made a sound. Then we all heard the sirens making their way closer to the cabin.

“Joey, Lenny. Start making some barricades against the door and windows. Seth, come with me and get the guns. Dave, help Lenny and Joey. This place needs to be solid.” Bernie ordered us.

I was pushing the couch up against the door when I heard cars speeding up the dirt drive. Joey looked over at me with the nails in between his teeth. On the outside he looked pretty calm, but his eyes said he was scared. Really scared. Bernie forced the gun into his hands, and pushed him to his knees.

I kneeled down in front of the window when Seth came over with three guns in his arms. He handed one to me, and kneeled down. Dave went up into the loft to take the “surprise shots” there. The cops were at our doorstep now, telling us to come out. It was all too loud and confusing. My brother’s voice mixed with the sound of sirens.

And then the shooting began.

I grabbed my gun and aimed, but I couldn’t do it. Seth was firing away, and every once in a while, he would wipe his palms on his jeans. Joey was no better. He was pale, sweating, and shooting with no aim at all. My brother was the worst. Bernie looked absolutely terrifying. He loved this! His face was intent, and he reminded me of a crazy person. Maybe he was just crazy, and we were all playing his games.

The window in front of me shattered, and I felt something bite the side of my neck. Seth screamed my name and tried to reach for me. I could feel myself falling backwards, and there was nothing I could do to stop. Everything moved slowly, and the sounds of the fighting were muffled. I looked over to Joey and Bernie. Joey was even more pale now, and he yelled something up to Dave.

I closed my eyes for a second. Hands, hundreds of hands were grabbing at me. Someone picked me up. I hope it’s Bernie. I can’t hear anything. My eyes are so tired, I can’t even keep them open. Then, there was nothing, but the fading call of my name by someone far, far away.
 

25 April, 2011

Star-crossed



I'll start again when this song ends.
Dye my hair that auburn red.
Hit up that strange party scene.
My disguise fades as I see the crowd,
And the same song plays over again.
How could I ever think of leaving?
Then she walks through the open door,
The all too familiar story plays out.
It doesn't matter now.
My edges start to blur and fade.
The song begins to die away,
And suddenly it's all okay.
You're fucked up and acting foolish.
Aren't we the unluckiest ones in the room?
And it's okay if she sits beside you.
'Cause boy, we would only be second best.
Some day it's never gonna matter.
The song comes roaring back.
And darling,
That's my cue to leave.
But, I'm stuck here wishing I had a man.

21 February, 2011

Scapegoat



i welcome the empty bliss
smoke streaming past my lips
embrace this drug's cool kiss
my mind's becoming numb
one more hit before i succumb

thoughts of you whirl around
nothing makes sense now
i feel like i'm being drowned
smoke dances from another exhale
leaving behind its silvery trail

man i'll never be content
can i ever reach the limit?
i'm afraid of its descent
the paranoia's overwhelming me
but getting lost is the key

exhaustion spreads through my limbs
i know i shouldn't give in
but this is sure looking grim
everything's joining as one
fuck it, i'm done

14 February, 2011

East Coast Dreamer

New Short Story. <3


I stood in front of my vanity mirror staring at my reflection. My long, chestnut brown hair was hanging loose around my shoulders.
This is it.
The last of my belongings sat packed away in a bag at my feet. I was leaving the only house that I grew up in. The home that my parents thought would be perfect to raise their growing dreams in.
I put on the brown sweater that was laying on my bed over the white dress I bought earlier that week. This was the dress that gave me the final push. Yes, a little white dress that was once hanging on a rack in a Christian thrift store downtown gave me the idea to road trip. Alone.
No one knew I was leaving yet.
Mum and Dad knew half of the truth. They thought I was leaving our small North Carolina home to visit some colleges in New Jersey. What they didn’t know was that I was chasing my own dreams. That I needed to find my path.
My reality.
I grabbed the bag off the floor and made my way to the kitchen to say goodbye. Mum was sipping her afternoon tea out of her favorite blue mug. She looked up and sighed.
“Are you ready to leave for New Jersey?” I nodded and looked at her. “Your dad just came back from the gas station. He filled up the car for you.”
“Why did he do that?”
“I guess he wants to feel like he can still take care of his baby girl.” Mum put down her mug and pushed her oversized reading glasses on her nose. “Do you want anything to eat before you leave? You’re going to have a long ride, you know.”
“I know, Mum. But, I’m fine thanks. Me and the guys can always stop somewhere and grab a bite.”
They also thought I was picking up a couple friends along the way. So they wouldn’t worry about me traveling alone.
I tossed my bag in the passenger seat and closed the door. “So, I’ll call you guys when I get to the motel, okay?”
“That’s fine, Tilly. Just be careful and don’t do anything stupid.” Dad squeezed my shoulder and Mum hugged me.
“Bye you guys.” I got in the car and drove away, daring myself not to look back. If I looked, I might not be strong enough to keep going. And I had one more stop before I could hit the open road.
Caleb.
He was my last stop of the old path.

I sat outside of the last coffee shop at the edge of town with Caleb. We were recently engaged. But, our relationship really wasn’t going anywhere. How could it? He gave up on himself, and in turn, gave up on me. Our paths just don’t meet up anymore. I still have dreams that need to be tracked down and lived. He. . .didn’t.
“Caleb. . . Are you going to miss me?” He looked up from his coffee.
“Yeah, I’m going to miss you. But, you’ll be back in a few days, and I’ll be here waiting.” He took my hand and held it up to his lips. He smiled at me, the smile that always kills me, and kissed my hand.
I never realized how tiny my hands are compared to his.
Shit. This is going to be the last time.
Don’t cry.
Not now.
“Tilly, what are you talking about?” He let go of my hand. I looked down.
“I need to find my path, Caleb. I need to find out what I have to do.” I took the ring off my finger, and slid it across the table to him. He went to reach for it, and bit his lip instead. I looked away from him when I saw a tear escape his eye.
“If you’re sure.” He slipped the ring into his pocket, and I had to get up. I had to leave. Now.
I nodded and started walking toward my car.
“No, Tilly. Take this, please.” He took my hand and put the ring onto my palm. “I want you to know I’m in love with you. And I’ll be here for whatever you need. Even if it’s just a best friend. I love you.”
I hugged him as hard as I could.
Don’t let me go.
“I love you, too.” I pulled away from the hug, and stared at his loving face. Every feature about him told me how much he really loved me and cared for me.
Maybe this will give you a dream to chase.
I got behind the steering wheel and started down the road. Before I could stop myself, I looked up in the rear-view mirror. He was still standing on the sidewalk where my car had once been.
I was watching myself leave my dream.
My path.

21 January, 2011

Pillow Quote

"God gave me two legs to walk, two hands to hold, two eyes to see, two ears to hear, but God gave me one heart so I can find the other."

I found this on a pillow at a festival, and I've loved this quote ever since. Wish I would've actually bought the pillow though :( Oh well, looks like I have a new project.

18 January, 2011

Something to Ponder.

There's this church that I pass by on the way to school. And sometimes they have quotes on their signs that make me go into this crazy realm of thinking.

The one I think of the most is this:
"Remember the kindness of others; forget your own."